Local American Student Caught Masturbating Twice

ANGERS (REUTERS) - A local study abroad student attending CIDEF was caught masturbating by his host family twice in the same afternoon. Reports indicate that the student was masturbating to gorilla fornication when the father of his host family stumbled drunkenly into his room.

"Je m'appelle Philo", exclaimed Philo Lucas, the father. Apparently the student was standing up in the middle of the room making animal noises and listening to Gym Class Heroes. When he noticed the entry of the father, he began to masturbate more quickly in what sources say was an attempt to finish himself before the father could make it across the room.

After the student ran away from Mr. Lucas, he continued masturbating in the hallway where he was arguably caught again.

The student, who denied an interview, is on time-out.