Sir Matthew Rutledge of Balboa Takes Over 24 Hour Fitness

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a freak incident, involving English parliament, Sir Matthew Rutledge of Balboa has acquired control of American fitness chain 24 Hour Fitness®.

Rutledge was recently knighted for his victory in the annual San Francisco Decathlon, which was made on the heels of an extraordinary 36 hour bender in Las Vegas (see article).

Rutledge moments before a $4,000 loss at Caesar's Palace

"After I got back from the U.K. I was just in a state of euphoria," the self professed number one "Corky Romano" fan told the associated press last Tuesday. "So, I bought 24 Hour Fitness. I mean why the fuck not? I'm a knight now."

Rutledge's own fitness skills were put to the ultimate test earlier this month during freak incident where he almost drowned in a pond at Golden Gate Park.

"We were playing frisbee golf that day and I noticed that Matt had been missing for quite some time," local entrepreneur and certified optimist Rock and Roll Rowley said. "That's when I saw bubbles forming in a nearby pond."

Rock and Roll Rowley leaps towards the deadly pond where Rutledge almost lost his life

"Thank god Rock and Roll Rowley was there," family friend of the Rutledge's, and recent literary success, Campbell Belden said. "I thought Matt was a goner for sure."