Sunday, April 21, 2013

Former Heterosexual Finally Convinces Friends That He Likes Men



SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a bold move last Wednesday strong man Matt Rutledge started blowing friend, and sports legend, Carter "Barry Bonds" Grady in an effort to further establish his sexuality amongst his peers.

"I love the feeling of hard wood on my ass!" Rutledge explained to guests at the BBQ
The party, at which Rutledge made the epic display, was hosted by former used car salesmen Derrick Schoening. Schoening, now SVP of coolsunglasses.com, has been ignoring Rutledge's texts.

Sad, and alone, Rutledge finds himself in between a former lover and the new flame
Schoening is now in a committed relationship with a woman, but had been playing the field with the other team. Rutledge, ignorant of this, has been ceaselessly texting and calling Schoening to find out "what changed".

Rutledge basks in the afterglow of a "job well done"
"After I busted on Matt's face I was feeling pretty good," Grady said in an interview outside Panda Express on Tuesday afternoon. "But I'm still not convinced."

Update Monday April 22nd, 2013: Someone anonymously submitted an audio sex tape to The Philistine this afternoon of Rutledge attempting to have gay sex with an unidentified friend. See audio below.