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| The "mountain man" making his initial approach |
Mill Valley, CA – A group of hikers were terrorized Saturday afternoon by what witnesses described as a "mountain man".
The hikers were visiting the world famous Mount Tamalpais, which had recently acquired the right to have snow fall on it, at the time of the incident.
"I was made aware of the situation about 15 mins after we arrived," local guitarist and media mogul Chris Cohan said. "Motherfucker just nailed me with a snowball, shit was on after that."
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| Cohan not giving a fuck |
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| Apparently the "mountain man" wasn't having it |
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| Patrick intervened, attempting to save the day |
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| But failed |
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| Yet, the war raged on |
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| Cohan surrenders |
When the battle concluded 19 people were dead. As the survivors fled the scene, The Philistine had a chance to catch up with the "mountain man".
"I be here long time," the "mountain man" said.
That statement was the end of the interview. Nonetheless, park rangers informed us that the "mountain man" does respond to "OMG LOL BUTSEKZ", and has apparently been spotted on the mountain since the spring of 1988.
The park rangers service has contacted President Belmont's administration and a carpet bombing of Mount Tam is slated for April.
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