The Destruction of Memory

I'm reading this great book called The Destruction of Memory by Robert Bevan, and it's about the idea of destroying places like libraries, monuments, and places of prayer as a war tactic. The feeling of seeing something that means a lot to a culture or peoples can really bring down moral. The only downside of the book is the denseness of it. The author writes very descriptively and the book gives off a sort of textbook feel. It has pictures in it as well, which I was very skeptical of at first, but it helps a lot with the read. Anyways just thought I'd share, because the blog has been very slow lately.

Here's a picture of the cover:





















-Rob

The Crazy Day When You Work Retail

So I work at best buy and tomorrow is black Friday. The day when mindless consumers think they are getting deals on last years models of electronics. Literally 1,200 people sit outside of best buy for days to get these "great" deals. The other day at work this moron comes up to me bragging he is always the first in line at our store for black Friday. He proceeded to tell me he camps out at 8 am on thanksgiving day waiting until about 4 in the morning the next day for the store to open. I honestly didn't know what to say; "nice", "congrats", "what is wrong with you?", or plain and simple "Why aren't you spending thanksgiving with your family?" My boss told me people bring generators, tv's, xboxes, heaters, tents, poker tables, refridgerators, etc. This epic deal day brainwashes people into spending money they do not fucking have, creating 6 month financing plans with best buy just so they can have a 2007 or 2008 model samsung 42inch 720p tv. It's plain and simple retarded. I can't tell you how many people I deal with on a day to day basis that need a $250 deposit on a $40 a month cell phone bill, due to their horrid credit. Americans love this one time sale idea, but in the long run we just dig ourselves into hole that we cannot get out of.

/rant

-Rob

First day at the toy store.

I got a new job and today was my first day. I now work at a toy store on College/Ashby. I was able to play with a new toy that came out on the market. It's a remote control car that has a battery powered vacuum allowing it to move along any flat surface, including walls and ceilings. It was quite nostalgic seeing some of the toys that we all used to play with. More updates to come.

-Trevor

All I have to say is wow

World of Warcraft is the worst game of all time.

I have no doubt about this. It's not because it's bad in the sense that it's an unplayable game, even though it is.

It sucks people into it, some have actually died from playing it.

Today I was sitting in class and a girl in front of me was playing World of Warcraft. I was thinking, this has to be the most retarded waste of time ever.

That is the main reason that it is the worst game of all time. Because it actually takes away from your life rather than adding to it by entertaining it takes away by sucking your time up.

To express what this game does to people I give you a snippet from a conversation I had with Trevor today, who is an avid player:

(15:59:10) monty: dude im in fucking newswriting class and this girl in front of me is playing WoW on her laptop
(16:00:46) Tre 2 Da Store: what lvl is she
(16:00:51) Tre 2 Da Store: and clas
(16:00:53) Tre 2 Da Store: class
(16:01:08) monty: dude
(16:01:15) monty: who the fuck cares
(16:01:18) Tre 2 Da Store: <---

Other than this I don't have any evidence of this, I haven't done any research and I don't wish to. This is all just based on my unrivaled opinion.

Fuck world of warcraft.

-Monty

I don't like breakfast anymore

Dave and Mike's used to be a place I went to most weekends.

We'd often travel there by means of bike or foot prior to acquiring driver's licenses. I remember a specific day we walked down there from Billy's house.

These days though I am finding more and more that I do not feel very good after I eat breakfast.

Even when it's just cereal or something. I feel tired and drained rather than optimistic about my day.

This doesn't suggest by any stretch that I am talking shit on breakfast. It still in theory is a wonderful meal.

I will now offer a list of my favorite places for breakfast, places I would still go to even though I have changed my mind about breakfast.

Dave and Mike's
There is no question about it. This is the original spot. Where going to breakfast began and hopefully where it might some day continue.


Crepevine
The newest spot I've discovered for breakfast, they've got two locations that I know of. One in San Rafael and one on Fillmore.

Swinger's
Hands down the best pancakes I've ever had. Banana that is, if you get something else you're just a fruit. Only problem is this place is in Santa Monica. Bullshit.

-Monty

Identity issues dealing with unnecessary association to choice of mode of transportation

I have something I need to admit to all of you. I feel like kind of a ridiculous person... But I'm going to be honest.

I got a fix gear. And I love it.

-meg

P.S. I am not a hipster.

Three Wipe Mice

Struggling to push out the chicken parmigiana I had not but four hours ago, I began to unravel a few sheets of two ply Cottonelle. A minute passes and I began my routine of leaning to the left, applying all the pressure on one side of the porcelain oval. Just as I begin my first wipe I hear a large CRRRRACCCCCK. Thoughts were racing through my mind as to what the sound might have been. I stood to see what damage had been done and to my dismay the seat, had broken. Embarrasment, shame, foolishness, all feelings that made me stare at the car crash that wouldnt allow my eyes elsewhere. How do I tell my roommate? Does this come out of my security deposit? I had no answers for these questions. I finished my buisness and flushed my emotions away. I could only sit back and laugh at what had just occured. At least I had a good story to tell for the next few days, I thought.

Later that day as I was driving to the gym with Danny, I brought up the topic of wiping. At first it was just a story of how I had broken the toilet seat but soon turned into a world I was unaware of. He explained to me that there were more methods to wiping than I knew. Not only were there those who stood to wipe, but those who went between the legs when sitting. I couldn't believe, I wouldn't believe it, alternative methods to wiping? For so long I had trusted the lean and now I was unsure of what to think. Where did the lean get me, I asked myself. It got me a broken toilet seat. Now I was doubting myself, my method, everything. My world was crashing down over such a simple thing. I thought the best thing I could do was teach as many as I could of these three ways to keep your ass clean.

For those unaware of the three methods of wiping, I will give a brief overview of each so that you may make a decision which is best for you. First is this one I have used for as long as I can remember, the sit and lean. To begin, lean to the opposite side of your dominant hand so that there is a clearance space between your ass and the toilet. Reach behind you with your dominant hand and wipe. Bring the paper up back up to see how much wiping is still necessary.

Secondly is the sit and spread. To begin, spread your legs so that there is plenty of space for proper wiping. Reach between your legs and wipe starting at the top of your buttcrack moving towards the genitals. Caution, dont get shit on your junk.

Finally is the stand and bend. To begin, stand up and bend your legs slightly to create proper space between the cheeks. With your dominant hand apply the same technique as method one, going from bottom to the top of the ass crack.

Spread the knowledge, no pun intended.

-Trevor

Shop Dropping

In my digital arts class I learned about this new form of art that is basically the opposite of shop-lifting. Underground artists go into stores and buy products like T-Shirts from American Outfitters, Coca-Cola Bottles from supermarkets, and other items that are popular in America today. They then proceed to either make new labels for them, screen print their own logos, or make stickers to put on display. The cool part about it is many underground artists get their work out and can make a political statement on the advertisement attitudes of our culture.

Here are some pictures I found:



Prune Face





Cans































Here are some videos and websites for more shit:

Links
http://www.notanalternative.net/wordpress/featuring-shopdropping
http://www.shopdropping.net/

Videos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5qIFqF5ynk -this one is in urban outfitters it's really funny


-Rob

MITT ROMNEY FOR PRESIDENT

seriouspost

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/19/opinion/19romney.html
read this great article by Mitt Romney about the auto industry.

WWOD? (what will obama do?)
discuss.
-Billy

Burrito-fest relief

> Schwimm. Sorry Rob.

-Beni

Movie Time

Monty and I working on a movie today. We will keep our 6 users updated every few hours. Oh and it's Nick Fisher's birthday this weekend, Pop Bottles at my house.

-Ricky

Where have all the good Burritos gone?

It's no wonder that so many of us have found ourselves hungry these days.

Luckily there is a solution. One that I've found resolution with many times.

So if you live in Albany, Berkeley, San Francisco or close by, you should come on down to Gordo Taqueria.



One time we saw what's his face there. Fuckin...the guy in Patch Adams.

-Monty

Using the blog to make myself feel better.

Edit: I apologize to the blog. I should not have said my post was the first real one, completely uncalled for. Please don't ban me, I can't go back to the Vesti.
-Trevor


Sadly I'm going to post the first real post. It’s 8am. I can't sleep. My girlfriend and I are done. I look forward to the future but I cannot begin to believe that I will not be sharing it with her. I know with time everything can heal but right now I don't want to. I feel helpless in the situation and that is what bothers me the most. Maybe it is for the best, I will never know, but it is what it is. Coming to terms with that will be the hardest thing I've done in quite some time. Not having a full schedule is a big part of why I feel so empty right now, so that is the first thing I have to work on. If I can get through this stage of my life I think that I'm going to be able to do nearly anything. Sappy as this all is, and as much as you guys are going to make cracks, I feel better putting my thoughts out there in the world. Unfortunately I had to follow the greatest post of all time, Rob and Schwimmers passionate night together. FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. :|

Belmont 2012

"I'm gonna finish this fifth" - Robert Belmont

I hope everyone will rally in support of our most promising candidate in many years. He's well aware of his growing fanbase.

Don't forget to read his enthralling story below, it's a true testament to how he would run the country.

Added on 11/24/2008: Also look out for him in this month's issue of The Philistine magazine.

-Monty

Me and David

I remember the night very clearly. It was cold, and the air smelled of fresh rain. We met at a nice, dimly lit restaurant in the east village. He greeted me cordially, “Wow, you look amazing tonight.” He took my black coat, and kissed me on the cheek gently, I knew it was the night I would lose my virginity. I had never been with a man before and the entrance into homosexuality gave me goose bumps.

It made me a little bit nervous that he was such a well known actor, I mean ten seasons of one of the most popular shows on TV. I had always thought he was the most attractive on Friends, and I was really jealous that he'd had a baby with Rachel. I hated Jennifer Aniston, and there were times I would lay in bed practically punching my pillow in anger.

We got a wonderful table as far away from the kitchen as possible with a lot of privacy. The waiter arrived with a bottle of what looked like expensive wine. “Mr. Schwimmer, this is one of our finest bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon, a 1967 Duckhorn from Napa Valley.” David replied quietly, “Perfect, we will need one more after this as well.” We ordered, I had roast duck with mixed vegetables as a side. The wine was amazing, and it was making me red and a little tipsy. David reached across the table and gently grasped my hand. “Rob, you make me so happy and I would love if you would come see my studio tonight.” I replied, “Oh David! You’re so forward.” We exchanged very sexual glances and the tension was building.

He motioned for the waiter to bring the check and it was there in 30 seconds. David put down an American Express black card, we waited for the receipt and left. Outside we hailed a cab, and he told the driver the address of his studio, I was so tipsy I didn’t catch where we were going. We pulled in front of a building with two doors and a brick staircase; he took my arm and escorted me into his studio.

It was a giant room with long sprawling couches and a huge bed that was made private by a white see-through curtain. “Would you like a drink Rob?” I replied, “Yes, I’d love a martini.” He mixed a few things and shook some more, and came and sat next to me on the couch. “Why aren’t you having a drink?” I asked. “I don’t drink,” he replied.

He started kissing my neck, and I knew it was time. We took off our clothes and moved to the bed. He started touching me places I had never been touched, and I loved it. He put my rear in the air and I felt his cock enter my ass. It hurt like I had never been hurt before. We had sex for what felt like four hours, and when he finished I felt something wet on my back I turned around expecting it to be over. Little did I know he had not finished and tricked me into receiving a face full of cum. He screamed, “HOUDINI’D BITCH!”

-Rob

Sharing

I just sent Billy a link to the blog and extended an invitation to contribute.

I am expecting little to no enthusiasm.

Transcript of our conversation:

(18:34:33) monty: check out the new blog
(18:34:35) monty: http://monty-thephilistine.blogspot.com/
(18:34:44) monty: you should write something for it if you want
(19:49:10) Billy: how do i get in
(19:49:47) Billy: bsmartt13?
(19:50:03) monty: oh
(19:50:05) Billy: im logged in to blogger and i dont see any pending requests or anything
(19:50:26) monty: well I don't know if you can I've just had trevor send me the text of what he wants to post and then I post it
(19:50:28) monty: but lemme see
(19:50:43) Billy: oh
(19:51:39) Billy: i thought : extended an invitation to contribute. was something you literally did on the site or some shit
(19:53:20) Billy: does this shit have to be all appropriate since we're on blogger, are they gonna close our blog if it gets out of hand
(20:00:26) monty: haha I don't know, fuck no
(20:00:33) monty: its literally for any bullshit
(20:00:34) monty: you want
(20:03:39) Billy: yeah i just wanted to make sure
(20:03:50) Billy: that your mom wasnt CCd
(20:04:25) monty: brb
(20:04:40) monty: she does thoufgh

It turned out to be a pretty uninteresting conversation.

(00:47:01) monty: is that what billy said?
(00:47:04) monty: or are you asking?
(00:47:05) Beni: yeah
(00:47:22) Beni: thats what billy said, haha.
(00:47:30) Beni: "if it gets out of hand"

-Monty

The Creepy Contractor

So the apartment next to me is being remodeled by this washed up contractor who looks like hes out of a bad seventies porno, stache and all. Blue Ribbon beer in hand he sadistaclly says hello as I walk by on the way to my apartment.

Recently, I heard a small beep outside my window and being paranoid as usual I open the door to see what it is. Not but fifty feet away a shadowy figure sits surveying the scenery.

All is ok until I hear that voice that makes me cringe and cower.

"Hi," he says.

"Hi," I say back and close the door, deadbolt and all.

Back to my swivel chair I go pondering when he will strike next.

-Trevor

Ricky On Beer

Don't think that I'm not finding things to do.

This is one of Rob's many unreleased albums:

Girl Pants (2008)
Tracklisting:
Pending...

It's really good actually. I got a chance to join Rob in the studio for an exclusive listening party.

Things were tense at first as Rob pressed play, and the heat never died down.

Two and a half hours later we had almost listened to all his new tracks. Being as prolific as he is it is incredible that Rob has yet to release an album.

It's little known fact that Rob has some 1,337 songs that he's produced or rapped over stowed away on his laptop.

I have had the unique chance to hear 64 of these.

All I can say is that I'll be at the record store three to four days after his debut LP comes out, hopefully the crowds will have died down by then.

-Monty

What up Trevor?

Dude if you're out there I think we should hang out. This is not a very easy thing for me to do considering I had a much better, more appropriate and ultimately more rewarding article to post.

Whatever. Fuck that.

-Monty