Welcome To Berkeley Community College

It is with great pleasure that we announce The Philistine's own Trevor Todd Storey as the next candidate for the Smartt Investment Little Urban Achiever Scholarship.

Storey, a former MD, has been living in the Berkeley area for the past eight months. His medical license was revoked in a freak situation where Storey attempted to perform his debut stand up comedy routine during brain surgery.

When Dr. Brian Jacobson was made aware of the situation the matter was kicked up to the medical board of Alta Bates Medical Center, where Storey worked.

"We lost that guy that Doc Storey was fuckin around with, but that's not the reason [Storey] was booted," Dr. Jacobson said. "Everyone was so appalled by his comedy routine that nobody on the board felt comfortable keeping him around."

When asked to comment President Belmont refused, but his staff issued this statement on Monday:

"We are happy that Trevor has taken an interest in softball. The president has not yet declared his opinion on the comedy bit but we will expect to hear back from him when he returns from his bike ride next month."

Storey will be featured in this month's issue of the NAACP magazine, as the first white person to receive the aforementioned scholarship.