Doctors Find Cure for Scrotum Sweat

A group of scientists led by Dr. Brian Jacobson, have just finished a proposal to the FDA for an anti-scrotum sweat medicine that comes in pill form, called Testicaid.

Scrotum sweat is a disease common in males of ages 16 on. If the male doesn't shower for a few days or has been exerting themselves, the scrotum can cause a putrid smell. This has been a problem for females who perform fellatio for their significant others on a regular basis.

"This deficiency among men was actually not hard to remove," Dr. Jacobson said, "We simply target the sweat glands in the scrotum with an acid that comes in pill form."

Venture capitalist William Smartt also participated in the research and proposal. Smartt has his Ph.D. in Micro phosphorus Genetics from College of Marin. Smartt's contribution to the research was strictly finding the side effects.

"The patients have a 6 week to 3 year treatment time, and the process is actually very painful," Smartt said, "The testicles are very likely to explode, and also are certain to cause an unbearable burning feeling."

Along with testicle explosion and third degree burns of the genitalia the other side effects of Testicaid, are a severe drop in hormone levels, loss of hair, the left foot can develop two feet of its own, eye shrinkage, ear infections, loss of appetite, vomiting, blood may seep through pores, rapid heart growth to abnormal size, rapid shrinkage of heart to an abnormal size, memory loss, can lead to Parkinson's disease, depression, may increase odor of testicle sweat, HIV, homosexuality in heterosexuals, heterosexuality in homosexuals, elephantiasis, brain damage, loss of affection for children, anger, hallucinations, drowsiness, and menopause.

"The drug is not very safe, and should not be ingested by any form of organism or microorganism," Smartt said.

Testicaid will be reviewed by the FDA in August.