Best Buy Employee Returns After Stint in Jail

SPRINGFIELD, OREGON-- Robert Belmont was jailed last February after stealing numerous cell phones and womens virginities from Springfield's Best Buy. Belmont has been rehired as of this coming Saturday.

Belmont was charged with rape, public nudity, armed robbery, and disturbing the peace, but only two charges were stuck to Belmont's sentence. The three women Belmont allegedly "raped" testified in Belmont's defense saying it was the best sex they'd ever had. The judge was puzzled since they all were virgins.

Amy Whittaker, 20, was one of the women Belmont assaulted. Whittaker said, "He was gentle, he held my hand, that is all I wanted for my first time."

Belmont was charged with a year sentence for public nudity and armed robbery. He was released this past Thursday with a job waiting for him at the Springfield Best Buy.

Charles Barkley, General Manager of Best Buy #666, was impressed with the increase in business since Belmont's heist.

"More and more young virgins have been asking for Robert, so we cut him a deal. He took the newly created position 'Customer Experience Manager,'" Barkley said.

Belmont will be returning to his position this Saturday at 10 a.m., until closing at 9 p.m. and signing autographs at the front door.


-RAHBB