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| Rock and Roll Rowley (left) and Mackenzie Thomas (right) |
TIBURON, CA – In a move that has caused sports fans all across the bay area to question their hearing, Rock and Roll Rowley I has entered the running to train alongside famed Tiburon Peninsula Little League all-star Mackenzie Thomas.
After throwing out his arm during practice for the semi-finals, Rowley unequivocally called it quits.
"I was finished," Rowley said during an e-mail interview with local cretin Trevor Todd Storey. "I just couldn't throw another baseball."
The move came at a critical time for the team. Things had been looking bleak towards the end of the summer season as fellow player Kyle Sirell missed practice in order to finish his diorama.
Thomas is expected to deliver his landmark decision on Friday evening to a crowd of more than 15,000 at Blackie's pasture during the annual "Let's Dig Up Blackie's Carcass" festival.
A less surprising bit of news was the no-show of President Robert Belmont at the game on September 12. A spokesman for the Belmont administration declined to comment on the absence.
President Belmont's truancy is notable due to his recent negotiations with Attorney General (and team captain) Lucas Wilson in regards to the acquisition of MVP Matthew Yarborough.
"It came to our attention during a practice that Matt might be worth some money," Wilson said during an early morning conversation outside Noah's Bagels in Greenbrae. "But hey, the team is not gonna fall apart over this. We're gonna be #1."
That, sadly, may not be true. It is rumored that the Belmont administration has offered Yarborough a three month $38 million contract to play on the executive team.
This would, ultimately, render Rowley's training with Thomas superfluous.
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3 comments:
45 million actually
How has Carter Barry Bonds Grady not been discussed in this article pitiful.
UPDATE:
BOULDER, COLORADO -- In a strikingly unsurprising turn of events, Carter 'Barry Bonds' Grady was absent from the Sunday baseball practice again.
"He's missed like 84 practices since July," Team Player, and occasional commentator, Brian Jacobson said while cooking some pasta with white sauce at his manor in north Eugene. "His name still comes up at every practice though."
'Bonds' Grady was unavailable for comment, but rumor has it he is currently working on a comeback slated for mid-winter.
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