Who Is The Real Trevor Todd Storey?

Welcome To Berkeley Community College

It is with great pleasure that we announce The Philistine's own Trevor Todd Storey as the next candidate for the Smartt Investment Little Urban Achiever Scholarship.

Storey, a former MD, has been living in the Berkeley area for the past eight months. His medical license was revoked in a freak situation where Storey attempted to perform his debut stand up comedy routine during brain surgery.

When Dr. Brian Jacobson was made aware of the situation the matter was kicked up to the medical board of Alta Bates Medical Center, where Storey worked.

"We lost that guy that Doc Storey was fuckin around with, but that's not the reason [Storey] was booted," Dr. Jacobson said. "Everyone was so appalled by his comedy routine that nobody on the board felt comfortable keeping him around."

When asked to comment President Belmont refused, but his staff issued this statement on Monday:

"We are happy that Trevor has taken an interest in softball. The president has not yet declared his opinion on the comedy bit but we will expect to hear back from him when he returns from his bike ride next month."

Storey will be featured in this month's issue of the NAACP magazine, as the first white person to receive the aforementioned scholarship.

You can't disconnect unless you...

nevermind.
Get me.

Discussting: Bathroom Ethics

I work at my mother's company Navigenics. I sit at a desk in an area with two other guys near by who can see what I'm doing most of the time.

My day is composed of a lot of sitting around updating computers. I usually have lunch around noon and within about an hour I retire to the restroom to take a shit.

Recently I've been taking a book with me to the bathroom when I have to make a bowel movement.

When I retrieve my reading material from my backpack and walk through the office towards the bathroom I start to feel a little strange.

I start to wonder if my having a book under my arm as a travel to and from the bathroom is appropriate.

So my serious question is: is it appropriate for me to take a book with me to the bathroom while I am working and if so does it make people feel like I'm not taking shit seriously?

- Monty

You can come to class whenever

It doesn't matter.

Get me.

Local Berkeley Guy Turns 21 Leaving No One Surprised

BERKELEY, CA -- Residents of Berkeley and friends of Trevor Todd Storey were not surprised that on February 26th, 2009 Storey turned 21.

"It happened on the same date that his birthday went down on last year." Said Chris Cohan who was there for the unimpressive conclusion to Storey's 21st year.

Storey, a laid back guy, decided to wait until the afternoon of the 26th to purchase alcohol. After not being carded by the Seven Eleven clerk, Storey felt useless.

"It was bonkers." Storey said.

The apartment where Storey resides was littered with gifts that would at first appear to be for a seven year old.

Upon further investigation Storey determined that they were in fact meant for him. Baffled, he decided to go to bed.

The Philistine would like to officially announce that Storey's birthday ended last night at 11:59 p.m. and that he did not hire any outside help for sex at any point after that time.