Thomas in Talks to Train with Thomas

Rock and Roll Rowley (left) and Mackenzie Thomas (right)

TIBURON, CA – In a move that has caused sports fans all across the bay area to question their hearing, Rock and Roll Rowley I has entered the running to train alongside famed Tiburon Peninsula Little League all-star Mackenzie Thomas.

After throwing out his arm during practice for the semi-finals, Rowley unequivocally called it quits.

"I was finished," Rowley said during an e-mail interview with local cretin Trevor Todd Storey. "I just couldn't throw another baseball."

The move came at a critical time for the team. Things had been looking bleak towards the end of the summer season as fellow player Kyle Sirell missed practice in order to finish his diorama.

Thomas is expected to deliver his landmark decision on Friday evening to a crowd of more than 15,000 at Blackie's pasture during the annual "Let's Dig Up Blackie's Carcass" festival.

A less surprising bit of news was the no-show of President Robert Belmont at the game on September 12. A spokesman for the Belmont administration declined to comment on the absence.

President Belmont's truancy is notable due to his recent negotiations with Attorney General (and team captain) Lucas Wilson in regards to the acquisition of MVP Matthew Yarborough.

"It came to our attention during a practice that Matt might be worth some money," Wilson said during an early morning conversation outside Noah's Bagels in Greenbrae. "But hey, the team is not gonna fall apart over this. We're gonna be #1."

That, sadly, may not be true. It is rumored that the Belmont administration has offered Yarborough a three month $38 million contract to play on the executive team. 

This would, ultimately, render Rowley's training with Thomas superfluous.

Movie Review: Beauty Shop

Name: Beauty Shop

Actors: Queen Latifah, Alicia Silverstone, Andie McDowell, Mena Suvari

Awards/Nominations: BET Comedy Award (Nominated), Black Movie Award (Nominated), Teen Choice Award (Nominated)

Plot: A wonderful comedy about a woman (Queen Latifah), who buys a barber shop in the Atlanta "ghetto" from a local hairdresser, after she is fired from a posh hair studio. Queen Latifah battles with the startup costs of a small business and the mistrust from patrons of the previous owner. After her one of her old clients (Mena Suvari) shows Queen Latifah's "secret" conditioner to the corporate heads of Covergirl in New York, the world is at her fingertips.

Review: I thought this movie was a very inspirational comedy for the person curious about small business. The black stereotypes in this film were oh so very on-point. Birdman plays the local thug, who rolls on 22's and calls all the women "shawdy," while a woman rolls her friend chicken cart into Latifah's hair studio selling to the patrons. Like most other Queen Latifah movies, she plays the large woman in charge influencing everyone and their mother. I watched this movie on BET which completed my cultural experience with commercial breaks featuring Wendy Williams, and Monique pushing their horrible talk shows. Overall this movie made my night, maybe even month. Oh and Alicia Silverstone plays a black woman.