Gentile Rave Turns Into a BBQ

BERKELEY, CA -- Following a laborious 12 hours, a local Berkeley techno rave, put on by Smart(t) Investments LLC, gave way to a BBQ, put on by local music producer Chris Cohan and his Japanese translator Sean Tai.

The rave, which was a huge success with the community, was a significant coming of age experience for local computer user Campbell Belden. He received his first hickey from Brian Jacobson Ph.D., a Eugene psychotherapist.

Brian Jacobson Ph.D. (left) and Campbell Belden (right) on their way to funky town.

Both Richard and Robert Belmont, the two infamous twins who stock the streets of Eugene, Corvalis and San Francisco with equal thirst, were a no show.

John Gotti and Sir Rowley Montague Thomas IV expressing their surprise.

John Gotti, lord of Eugene, was baffled. His contemporary Sir Rowley Montague Thomas IV was also confused by the sudden transition. The only member of the event who seemed to be unperturbed by the abrupt metamorphosis was host Chris Cohan.

Chris Cohan, clearly enjoying the day's activities

"Yeah it was a little over the top when it happened," Said Kyle Sirell. "I do a lot of ecstasy and I'll tell you, none of the 'ravers' there knew what they were talking about."

Later in the evening, just when the guests were becoming comfortable with the idea that the rave had ended and the bbq was beginning, someone invited this asshole:

"Ayyyyyyyyy," the former physician said as he entered the party. "Where the rimjobs at?"

Luckily friends of the family Dominic and Patrick Murray saved the day.

Superheroes the murrays (right and left) with Jacobson (center) and Honefone (upper right).

Apologies have been made to Attorney General Lucas Wilson and friend Grant Martin for the delayed execution of this story.